Friday, 13 July 2012

Mild modification

I guess the only thing I can really say is that things are slightly....only slightly...better
I am certainly not out of the woods. But I am not buying gin every day, and sometime I can say no
Yesterday was not one of those is Friday ...the rubbish comes today
On Wednesday I had bought a box of wine...and a bottle of scotch
On Tuesday I had bought sherry and a bottle of gin. I drank about a third of e bottle before bed during the night I decided I would flush the contents...and I did
But Wednesday I bought the stupid whiskey and the wine. I steeld myself to throw them out in the rubbish...then at least I knew if I was going to recover them I would have admit to myself that I was going through the garbage.
And I did. I am a drunk
Started drinking at midday and couldn't stop. Had to visit a seriously ill person and hoped I didn't smell like a drunk....of course I did. Went out to had driven probably illegally ...even had wine with dinner
Had a meeting in the evening and got there early and fell asleep in the car. In
In the end I couldn't go in and went home. I drank some more..and finally went to bed
At least at 4a.m. I snuck out and put the box and e scotch in the rubbish bin
It has to be over today.
Even as I write this I am aware that J is coming over next week to have a drink. He has serious talking to do. So I can't fob him off
At the very least I have got to do better...and not drink by myself
Couple of rules
No lone drinking
No drinking during the day
No drinking and driving
Two drinks should be it...the KSC advice given to me by a naval guy...only two
If I could do that there would ntbe a problem....I really fear that the answer can only be NONE

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